Clutter in our identity as women and International Women's Day Day

Years ago I presented a workshop at a Women and Spirituality Conference at UBC. My topic was "Clutter in our identity". The focus was to examine how we identified ourselves and how we were labeled by others We looked at how accurate those labels felt and how we wanted to identify ourselves moving forward.

I created a simple exercise and asked the 40+ women present to share labels they'd been given at any point in their life. I wrote them all on a blackboard. I don't recall if I was anticipating the powerful catharsis that unfolded. The list started 'mildly' with words like mother, sister, daughter, girlfriend, lover, teacher, writer, artist and got fun with things like cookie, chicky-babe, sweet-lips, pumpkin, smartest in class, class clown, future prime-minister, and then went in a more disturbing though honest direction to bitch, slut, whore, cock-tease, ice queen, dumb blonde, arm candy, eye candy, cock candy, douche bag... I asked what we thought of ourselves and out came: not good enough, exhausted, burned out, inspired, funny, smart, capable, unstoppable, strong, weak, powerful, powerless, depressed, passionate, sexy, determined, soft, warm, sensuous, female, girl, lady, woman...

It was an eye-opening process, to see the words appear, till every inch of the blackboard was full and we were a room full of women looking at our collective identity. I then talked about clutter in our homes, offices and lives and the effects clutter had, how it kept us from seeing clearly, how the treasures got buried in a sea of un-important stuff, how as time passed our tastes changed and sometimes our favourite item faded into dusty oblivion, and how we kept things because of guilt, oppression... not because it lifted our spirit and added to the richness of our lives.

Using clutter as an analogy, we 'de-cluttered' our identity, and let go of anything we thought didn't fit, that we no longer wanted (or would stand for) and made room for what was near and dear to us. There were cleansing tears and lots of laughter and I was honoured to have created this de-cluttering experience for those precious few. I'd love to do that for women all around the world today. Perhaps I could start with myself and use International Women's Day to re-examine how I identify myself and be the me I'd really like to be.

In honour of IWD, and the special women in my past, I have three virtual gifts for you today. Three links. One features Judi Dench and Daniel Craig (like you've never seen him before, in heel higher than I've ever worn) in Bond defects to the other side Then there is That Girl's Marlo Thomas article The Movement about her experience in the 1960's and 1970's reminding me of the button I used to wear "I am the woman your mother warned you against". And lastly, Time's photo essay of 16 of History's Most Rebellious Women reminding me that once upon a time in the late 70's I was a rebellious biker chick myself.

There is so much more on the internet about women, our history, IWD, our heroes... Enjoy the surfing, and remember....

Goodbye Clutter! We make room for what matters. Today you can too!